Monday humor

And, last but not least least, a more or less relevant link (relevant to the lawyers out there): The ABA e-Journal had the latest humor column from Sean Carter, wherein he notes his concerns about law firms’ attempts to get new business. I present parts of it for laughs to start the week:

[….] For the most part, law firms subscribed to the Field of Dreams theory of business development–if you a build a law firm, clients will come.

Well, in typical lawyer fashion, it’s only taken about two centuries for us to realize that this strategy is about as reliable as the 9th Circuit, and just as often wrong. As a result, in the past few years, law firms of all sizes have become more proactive in their marketing efforts. While marketing was once the exclusive domain of personal injury lawyers, attorneys in all areas of the law are beginning to realize that all little “piggies” must eventually go to market.

Interestingly, while lawyers have been slow to embrace this reality, I suspect that we will quickly make up for lost time. In fact, if we’re not careful, we’re bound to become a little overzealous. Obviously, this wouldn’t be good for a profession whose members are currently regarded just above head lice in terms of popularity. (Sadly, head lice have us beat in terms of affordability.)

We lawyers aren’t known for our creativity. By nature and training, we seek precedent. Therefore, I fear some law firms will begin to air knockoffs of famous commercials from the past.

I shudder at the possibility. Will I turn on my television one day to see a little old lady standing at a counter, yelling, “Where’s the brief? Where’s the brief?” Or perhaps, even worse, we’ll see one law firm touting its associates as the lawyers “that just keep going and going and going …”


Of course, no media campaign would be complete without newspaper advertising. A simple quarter-page ad reading “Integrity. Excellence. Service.” would be great. Yet, I already suspect that soon enough, lawyers will want to get more bang for the advertising buck. Therefore, before long, we’ll start to see law ads in the sports section featuring scantily-clad women with captions that read, “For a hot IPO, call Jackie and her friends at Forrest, Gump and Jennings.”


OK, OK! Perhaps I’ve taken this a little too far. Except for collections attorneys, none of us would stoop that low. Yet, the point still remains that we should all strive to conduct our marketing efforts with the utmost dignity and class. After all, to borrow a phrase from the classic Right Guard commercials of the 1980s, “Anything else would be uncivilized.”

Uh huh, sure Mr. Carter. ;-D He’s not the same as the ABA Journal’s The Rodent, but Mr. Carter is nicely funny.

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