Was cold called today by a consulting company. How is this for BS (this is actual text from the website, my annotations in brackets]:
“Our mission is to empower our clients to create a sales and marketing operation at least as good as the best so that they can meet and exceed their revenue plan.
[What the hell do they mean by “at least as good as the best”?]
In practical terms we deal with client issues such as:
Defining the core offers, particularly where there is a high service content
[Figure out where we can bill the client up the wazoo]
Creating valuable customer propositions
[Make an offer you can’t refuse]
Installing an end-to-end sales and marketing process
[Which end? The rear?]
Formal and informal training for professionals and managers
[Your place or mine?]
Coaching individuals for better performance
[We are not amused]
Mentoring managers to exploit the opportunities created
[Exploit is the operative word]
Supplying critical skills on a short-term basis to support change”
[Sending in security staff to get rid of the compentent workers and outsourcing the rest]
To top it all off, they appeared in F**d Company for 3 years running. Just say no.