Triscribe

You’re North Dakota! You are rather remote, and even inaccessible to the average person. While many would thus describe you as stuck-up, to you it seems more like you’re just stuck. When no one is looking, you yearn to engage in 19th-century European political subterfuge. When looking for peace, head for the garden. But please, [...]

You’re a Giant Squid! One of the most shadowy and dark figures in your community, you sometimes are only known by what you leave behind, and what others say of you. With this murky and mysterious rap, you’ve become one of the most pursued and pondered people of your populous. You’re exceptionally large and even [...]

Anybody notice that there are a lot more interstitial ads on the New York Times website? Coincidence between having Jamaican meat patties for lunch and this article? I was taking out the garbage last night, and a cat ran inside and scared the heck out of P–. Apparently the cat is the upstairs neighbor’s just [...]

You’re South Africa! After almost endless suffering, you’ve finally freed yourself from the oppression that somehow held you back. Now your diamond in the rough is shining through, and the world can accept you for who you really are. You were trying to show who you were to the world, but they weren’t interested in [...]

You’re Anne of Green Gables! by L.M. Montgomery Bright, chipper, vivid, but with the emotional fortitude of cottage cheese, you make quite an impression on everyone you meet. You’re impulsive, rash, honest, and probably don’t have a great relationship with your parents. People hurt your feelings constantly, but your brazen honestly doesn’t exactly treat others [...]